The euro-centric standard of beauty is a plague, a disease, and a rampant disgusting definition of beauty in which we have been forced to mold into for centuries. It is something I have quickly understood by myself. And since then, I fought against it throughout my adult life.
Some people and sisters choose not to understand the destruction this entity has caused and it still causing to us and to our younger generation. This is the reason why I firmly believe that we have to work to understand the ramifications of that destructive structure and fight it without mercy every chance we get. And to do so, we have to find a better way to make our little girls understand that none of those standard apply to them. They are THEM, Black, kinky and beautiful.
We also have to make it possible for us to have our OWN bubble solely based on how we look. Therefore, as black women, we have to STOP letting anybody claim us. We have to stop giving props to other people because they want to look like us when it is convenient. As if by doing so, they are doing us a favor.
We can not take our looks away. We have to accept it and proudly proclaim it. We have to fall in love with it through our own gaze and not through some male gazes (Black or White) or through the approval of the Euro-centrist gaze.
Why are we still not able to do that? Why do we always want to include everybody else in our bubble when the others never give us that courtesy? Why do we include biracial people in our beauty standard?
This is not yet again an attempt to exclude Biracials from any ‘movement’ for Black women, but we have to agree here that by including anybody in our definition of Beauty, we do not have any concrete definition. We can create all the ‘movements’ we want, but what we lack is a clear definition. Anything with a too broader characterisation is diluted in all the exceptions.
At the end of the day, we are the one authorizing this inconsistency.
Contrary to what a YouTuber I really appreciate (Chrissie) was saying in her video, Biracial women did not high-jack the Natural movement. We allowed them to take it over and to appropriate it. We let them take the whole of the movement maybe because we still do not have enough pride to want our own thing. Everything in life is about a power struggle. And people who have the most concrete views of who they are will always be the one to win.
In consequence, we have to realize that we are still too heavily influenced by the Euro-centric standard of beauty. And we are still too afraid to impose ourselves, even if it means exclude everybody else from the equation, in order to find ourselves and to define ourselves better.
Our journey is still one coming from a place of hurt, of annihilation, and of depreciation. It is a journey from a traumatized place. And traumatized people can not spend their time trying to please everybody. A traumatized person have to be selfish enough to be able to re-appropriate itself. This is why I want Black women to become more selfish; to put ourselves first. I want us to stop looking to others to define us.
I want us to have more dignity. I want us to understand where we are coming from. I want us to understand that not everybody will let us do just our thing because there will always be people who will want to be part of everything, but that, it is up to us, Black Women, to be proud enough of who WE are to consider that WE are enough for ourselves. And we should not apologize for that.
Only us can free our minds from the need of validation.
Food for the Mind:
I HATE the “Natural Hair” Community: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjp42hvIKc0
The “We all are Mixed” Argument: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lOGyRHcjGQ
Why “Equal” Beauty Promotion Doesn’t Work for Black Women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoVwlr-qoe8