Lately, I have started to question the reason I tended to be more and more depressed. At first, I though it was the type of job I was doing. I was plagued with that unpleasant sensation of constant doubt and with that awful feeling of unhappiness. So I decided to quit.
I was working for one of the well-known websites for booking accommodations online. In hand side, the job was a marasmus of negativity. I lost all my inspiration and creativity while working there. To be completely transparent, making that decision was not so easy. Like everybody in the matrix called our ‘Society’, I depend on the fruit of my labor. But I digress. So, after the long reflection and the internal debate, I made my final decision based on one major point: My values.
To be blunt, It was too euro-centric and too white for me. I was irritated to be around people who thought that the African continent was only for safaris or who though that there were no proper cities in the African countries. The culminating point was during the annual party of the company in Amsterdam where I realised that all the people in power were Whites and males. Couldn’t they have found POCs interested in the accommodation business? The last straw was that during the main event, they let an ignoramus get on stage and call Christopher Colombus an amazing explorer who ‘discovered’ America. My jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t take that euro-centric and white propaganda anymore, and that lie they have maintained for centuries as History in order to erase any accomplishments made by any other race. Were they not aware that it has since being proven that the scumb in question and his fellows DID not discover anything, but simply STOLE the land from indigenous people already there? And it was done in the most abject way. The irony is that this company was promoting ‘diversity’! Which ‘diversity’? The one revolving around the Euro-centric views of History and of the world?
But I digress yet again.
So, I changed my job. Granted, my new position gave me my weekends back, and I have more time for my writing. But then, my depressive ways did not go away. I was still unhappy.
And then understood. I was Black in a Euro-centric and too White corporation plantation. There or here, this was the same. I was on the same system.
I realised that I was tired to be around the same ignorant people trapped in the Matrix and happy to be in it.
Because I am one of the few Black women at my job, I couldn’t take being around people too stuck in their close-minded and Eurocentric views. Their ignorance of anything that does not involve western society is appalling, and even there, I question their knowledge.
I am constantly on edges, having to correct them every time about their vision of the African continent, my hair, my citizenship. Because I had to spend my time diverging on things that do not mean anything to me, but which have an importance in their euro-white reality. Because I had to ignore some offensive questions and remarks. Because I had to fight against all the stereotypes they had already plastered all over me just by looking at me. I can assure that some days, I just wanted to explode and implore them to open of book or to use Google for more education.
I understood that I was tired to be around people I do not have anything in common with most of the time. It can seem too exaggerated for some people, but when you realise that we spend almost 10 hours of our life at work and around our colleagues, it is psychologically draining and frustrating. I am tired to always be either the only Black woman or one of the few Black persons, with all the expectations and the fighting that come with it. It was the case during my studies at the University and it is still the case now in my work life.
Overall, I just have had enough of their ignorance in general. I used to be very pedagogic and correct people, but lately, I no longer have this patience. When before I tried to be somehow unoffensive, I no longer care.
I believe that any woke Black person can relate to everything I said here.
I consider that nowadays, there are enough resources around to be less ignorant. Being ignorant of others culture is a lazy choice, one most of them favored.